Even as a little child, I always felt like I knew what was the best way for people to treat me. I knew what I wanted and I was more than willing to let everyone know about it. I never was one to sneak around and try to get my way by being crafty. I approached life and people head on.

I had strong opinions about how people should treat me; but, I also cared a lot about what others thought. It seemed like my opinions on life were really the only way a person should think and feel. I liked to debate and argue. I felt so powerful and important, when I was able to out argue those around me.

People considered me to be a natural born leader and predicted that I would probably be someone in government. My parents wanted me to become a lawyer and often bragged on my skills and abilities to out reason and argue with people. My opinion was pretty much the only opinion I valued or even considered.

I was sent to some very prestigious schools and applied myself to learning everything I could. The more I learned, the more opinionated and confident I became. I could hardly tolerate anyone who disagreed with me. Something was burning down inside me that I couldn’t control. People and their value became less and less important.

My being right and others seeing how right I was became paramount to me. Soon I lost all but a very few friends. I kept pushing my way into places of leadership and power. I wanted to be able to shape my world into a place I thought would be perfect. I wanted to make people see how stupid and weak they were. I wanted them to see how strong leadership would make their life better.

I prided myself in how smart and well informed I was. When I was in a group of people, I usually did all the talking. If anyone disagreed with me even on the smallest point, I made a big deal out of it.

I wanted to start dating and maybe eventually get married; but, I couldn’t get along with anyone long enough to establish much of a relationship. So, I spend all my time studying and joining organizations that were dealing with social change.

I wasn’t interested in human rights or social change that would have made things more equitable. I was only interested in getting everyone on the same page philosophically. I wanted everyone to see things the same way I saw them. I felt my life and everyone else’s lives would be a lot better, if they had the right laws and the right kind of government.

I saw people as being a bunch of sheep that didn’t really know what they wanted or needed. I felt they needed a strong hand of leadership that would funnel them into a better world. I joined groups of people who were willing to take action in a physical way. If we were going to have real social change, it was going to have to be done by force.

It wasn’t obvious to me at first as to what was motivating me and pushing me in the direction I was going. I didn’t realize that hatred and anger were dominating my every thought. It didn’t matter to me who I hurt or damaged, as long as I got my way. My focus was so narrow I couldn’t see anything other than myself and what I wanted.

I don’t think I would have ever been helped with my hatred and anger if it hadn’t been for God dealing with me in a very powerful way. One day I was going about my business of producing “a new social order” when God stopped me in my tracks. It was like I had been hit by a bolt of lightning. God helped me see myself in a way that no one else could have helped me see.

All of a sudden I saw myself the way others saw me. I could feel the damage and hurt I was inflicting on those around me. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t just looking at life from my own perspective. I’m not sure how He did it; but, He opened my eyes to people and how they felt about the way I was treating them.

It took a lot of time and a lot of God’s work in my life; but, I gradually changed and was healed from the hatred and anger that was filling my heart. God showed me a life that was shaped with laws, commandments, and rules that were for blessing people. Rather than shaping people to fit laws and rules, God only cared about making people’s lives better.

I had never thought much about allowing people to think for themselves. It was such a shock for me to see how wise, powerful, and all-knowing God was and yet He still let people run their own lives. He had to do a lot of work in me to help me love people enough to let them be their own persons.

It was difficult for me to let the force of hatred and anger be replaced with God’s mercy and grace. But, gradually He healed me so much that I became a very loving and caring person. I still have a long way to go. But, I have come a long way in being healed from all the anger that filled my thoughts and feelings. I am confident that if He can heal me, He can heal anyone. I think I had to be one of the worst He has ever had to deal with.

Anger can be one of the most powerful emotions a human can experience. It can feel like it is so powerful that you will never be able to bring it under control. However, even if you think you have tried everything to break free from it, God has a way that will do what nothing else is able to do.

HELP eMagazine provides concepts from God that are more powerful than the most powerful problems you can ever have. He loves you and can do what it takes to help you get the healing you need. The words found in this magazine are different than any other types of words. These aren’t self-help words. These aren’t instructions that put the pressure on you. They are powerful, healing words that demonstrate how great your God is.