I didn’t realize that I was being selfish when I tried to make sure I got what I wanted. My mother seemed to encourage me to try to get what I wanted and needed. She taught me to see myself as being better than other people. She actually liked me better than all the others of my siblings. I thought I was superior and therefore deserved to have what I wanted.

If someone had something I wanted, I would spend a lot of time trying to figure out how I could get it away from them. At first I didn’t have much success at it. I wasn’t the biggest or oldest member of the kids. So, I had to use lying, cheating, conniving, and manipulation to get things from them. It took some coaching from my mom; but, I eventually got very good at talking people out of their things.

I wouldn’t directly steal things from people. I would just use special tactics to work it out where I ended up with other’s possessions by conning them out of them. I got the first part of my training by manipulating the members of my family. I especially worked on my older brother. Dad actually liked him a lot more than me. So, dad would give him things I wanted.

I took the family business away from my brother and cheated him out of several other things dad gave him. I lied, reasoned, argued, and manipulated all those around me until I became extremely skilled at it. When it came time for me to go to college and train in for my future career, I didn’t really have time to study. So, I cheated my way through it all.

I aimed my education toward a particular profession that would make me good at being able to run one of my rich relative’s companies. I wanted to take it over; so I trained in and got my degree. I immediately sat down with this rich relative and worked out a deal where I would take a management position in their company.

I structured the contract in such a way that it was favorable to me. But, I soon found out that my rich relative had been lying, cheating, manipulating, and conniving for a much longer time than I had. They proved to be a much better con-artist and had put things in the contract that I hadn’t noticed.

At first I saw this as a game and went to work trying to outsmart them. I would come up with all kinds of plans and methods for structuring the company where the profits would be distributed in my favor and my rich relative would find a way to cheat me in spite of all my efforts. It gradually started to wear me down and cause me to resent the situation.

For the first time in my life I started feeling like I was the victim. I had never realized this before; but, it wasn’t fun being cheated and conned out of your resources and profits. God began to use this situation to show me how much I had been hurting the people around me. This realization created a guilt in me that became overwhelming.

Then God started showing me a process of reconciliation that I could use to make things right with all the people I had cheated over the span of my life.

God started changing my heart and helping me see things from a whole different light. A Godly type of guilt started helping me feel bad when I would lie, cheat, manipulate, or try to con someone out of something.

It was a very slow change; but, I learned how to be prospered by God without me having to use damaging principles to accomplish my goals. This new approach to life enabled me and my rich relative to succeed and become very wealthy.

After a very long time of working together with my wealthy relative, I broke off the partnership and moved my family back home. God had been dealing with me about all the people I had cheated there. So I moved back and began the process of reconciliation. This was one of the most exciting and rewarding things I had ever done in my life.

My dad had died and a guilt set in that started tormenting me. I had said and done things to him that were very bad. I wanted to be able to make things right with him but I couldn’t. This is where I learned about the two types of guilt. There is a satanic guilt that makes you feel shame and sorrow that can’t ever be reconciled. It causes you to grieve over the mistakes and sins you committed with a guilt that torments you.

There is also a guilt that the Holy Spirit puts on you that opens your eyes to how much you are hurting people. It is based out of love and helps you feel the pain and suffering of others. It gives you a conscience that guides you into a better and healthier relationship with yourself, others, and God.

I started taking this tormenting guilt, that Satan was putting on me, to God and He showed me how to let Him forgive me for all the things I had done to my dad and couldn’t get reconciled. As I told God all the things I felt tormented about, He not only forgave me, He started healing my heart in all those areas. It was a wonderful healing process.

As I made restitution with all the people I could find and brought the rest before God, my character changed and the way I treated people became a whole new way of living. I started using my possessions and money to be a blessing to those around me. God actually blessed and prospered me more through that financial method than all the conning and conniving I used before.

One bad thing came out of all my past methods of doing business and living life. Some of my kids had picked up my old methods and business systems from watching my past. I went through some painful times with some of my oldest children as they set out in life. But God was merciful and helped me help them discover my new way of winning at life.

Let HELP eMagazine show you the Godly way of handling the guilt you feel from all the things you have thought, felt, said, and done to yourself and those around you. HELP eMagazine can lead you into Godly principles that will aid you in straightening out your life; and it will help you reconcile with those you have hurt in your past.