It isn’t just a matter that you have a problem with loss of a loved one. Your reactions, your evaluations of yourself, and your attitudes about the fact that you are struggling with it also matters. In your mind you know what you should do; but, in your heart and in your physical needs it is a different matter. If you are critical toward yourself because you have this problem, that will add to, multiply, and magnify the suffering. If you are handling it with proper evaluations, reactions, and good attitudes, it puts you in a place where you can be healed.

Jesus wants to help you evaluate, react, and feel some important things about yourself and your struggles. This will help you approach your suffering with loss of a loved one through positive feelings of hope and faith. Not that you feel good about the fact that you are having difficulties with loss of a loved one; but, you feel good about the fact that you are normal. Everyone has something just as difficult as your issue. When you are down, it is hard to address any kind of problem because of the negative feelings you are experiencing. If somehow you could be given emotions that gave you faith and hope, even though the problem you are facing is extreme, you have feelings that are encouraging and strengthening you.

Jesus is saying to you in Matthew 11:28 (NIV): “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Jesus wants you to allow Him to give you His feelings about your struggles with loss of a loved one. Having painful issues in your life is bad enough. But, if those issues are causing you guilt, regret, anger, feeling rejection, or being down on yourself, then you need Jesus to help you see your past, present, or future has no bearing on who you are. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are weaker than those who seem to be happier, stronger, or more trouble free. Jesus loves you; and, His love isn’t affected by your struggles. He feels your pain and identifies with your problems. He isn’t judging you; He is hurting with you.

Jesus said in John 16:33 (NIV): “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Don’t let people’s smiles, bragging, and success stories fool you; every person on this planet is going through some kind of trouble. Some people’s troubles may not show up and be as obvious as yours; but, every person is struggling, battling, and dealing with all kinds of issues, difficulties, and problems. Don’t be fooled by those who can “put on a good face;” don’t be fooled by those who have been trained by the world to “fake it until you make it.” Don’t be fooled by those who have learned how to “manage” their problems or “work around” them. Don’t be fooled by those who work hard all day and then drink, drug, or party their way into some form of oblivion.

It isn’t wrong sharing your pain with those who are going through what you are going through. Sometimes you can feel better by talking to them. It can feel good just to know you aren’t weird, different, or weaker than most people. It feels good just sharing. But, after you have shared with these people, you will find that the benefits are temporary. You need help that can empower you, strengthen you, build faith and hope in you, and be there no matter what you are facing.

Rom 7:20 (NIV) Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. The world teaches you that if you do something bad, you are a bad person. They teach that if you do something good, that makes you a good person. However, that philosophy can cause you to feel like your struggles with loss of a loved one means it is a diagnosis or evaluation of who you are. However, Jesus makes it clear that this isn’t true; Jesus has made you into a new person who is loved, accepted, valued, and appreciated by God, Himself. John 8:36 (NIV) So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. Jesus has given you a perfect record with God; you are free from anything you have ever done, are doing, or will do that is wrong, bad, or evil. 2 Cor 5:21 (NIV) God made Him Who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.

Gen 1:26 (NIV) Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” You are very valuable to God because He made you in His own image and likeness. You are so valuable to God that He demonstrated His love for you by sending His Son to die for you. Rom 5:8 (NIV) But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. While you were busy doing wrong, bad, and evil things to yourself, other people, and God’s plan, God proved how much He loves you. You were so valuable to Him that He sent His one and only Son to die in your place. Jesus paid for all your past, present, and future mistakes, failures, shortcomings, sins, and misdeeds; you are totally forgiven, free, and loved.

Rom 8:32 (NIV) He Who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for US ALL--how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us ALL things? God didn’t send money to redeem you; He didn’t send some kind of temporary cure for all your sins you committed against yourself and other people; He didn’t produce some brilliant system for saving you; He sent His one and only Son to die for you. Yes, you have problems; but, so does everyone else on this planet. Yes, you have made mistakes and have got yourself into things that were wrong, bad, and evil; but, so has everyone else. Rom 3:22-24 (NIV) This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

Rom 8:16 (NIV) The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. A good parent will do things for their children that they would never do for anyone else; and, God is the very best parent in existence. Jesus said in Matthew 7:11 (NIV): “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” The reason you have to ask God before He gives good gifts to you is because He made you in His own image. Once that happened, you got a God-given free will. So, you have to ask for these good gifts; but, when you ask, God pours them on you because you are His child.