Jesus, all I was doing was trying to have fun. But, in the pursuit of that fun, I found things that brought me a lot of pleasure. So, I started involving myself in those activities. Everything went along fine for a while; I was having a good time and the people around me were having a good time. Then something happened that I didn’t expect.

At first I didn’t notice it; but I found myself having to increase my efforts in order to have the same amount of fun. If it was sex, I had to try different things to get the same pleasure. If it was drinking or drugs, I had to take in more or stronger doses to get the same results. If it was gambling, I had to do it more often or take greater risks to get the same pleasure. It seems like all the things I do for fun requires greater doses and more time for me to stay happy.

Jesus, another strange thing happened; when I tried to stop involving myself in certain of these activities, I found I couldn’t stop. I promised myself and my concerned friends that these activities were going to be the last time. But, I found that I just couldn’t help myself. I discovered that I just couldn’t live without the pleasure I get from all these activities. Plus, others of my addicted friends keep contacting me and asking me to come back.

Jesus, deep down inside I know I am doing things that aren’t good for me. Even though I don’t like the feeling I get that I am no longer in control of my life and activities, I still find myself staying involved in the addiction. As time continues to go by, my life has started to fall apart in certain areas. I have started noticing that I am becoming a different person than I want to be; but, I still can’t stop the downward trend.

Jesus, there is one major thing that keeps me from seeking help...some of my friends. Typically these friends don’t seem to mind heading in this direction. Every time I express concern to my friends or try to get out of the lifestyle, my friends keep encouraging me to stop worrying. They usually assure me that there is nothing wrong with the things I am doing.

Jesus, the problem is, this kind of lifestyle just doesn’t seem normal to me. It has become obvious to me that something is wrong with some of the things I am doing. But, frequently, I won’t be able get any of these types of friends to agree with me. Sometimes I start thinking that it is just me that is wrong about this lifestyle. This causes me to just shrug it off and keep on doing the things I have been doing.

Jesus, I have tried everything I can think of to make myself feel better about it all. Some things help for awhile; but the nagging worries keep coming back. Now I am noticing that some of my activities are getting a little bit perverted and twisted. That really bothers me a lot.