Jesus, teach me that in casual friendships I am trying to find out what our common experiences and interests are. Help me find out things like, do we both like sports; are we both concerned about the weather; do we have mutual friends; have we both visited or lived in some of the same places; or, do we both have similar hobbies, interests, or activities? If You have prepared their heart for me getting to know them better, then help me realize that they will respond positively to my questions.

Jesus, help some of my casual friendships to move into personal friendships naturally; teach me how to start asking more PERSONAL questions. Show me that if I ask a casual friend a non-threatening, personal question and they avoid it, change the subject, give me a vague answer, or seem to be offended by it, that I should first check my motives. Help me be sure I am not trying to push them out of a casual friendship into a personal friendship. Help me always follow Your leadership; if I do, I won’t get hurt, offended, or upset with their unwillingness to go to the next level. Help me ask personal questions to test them because I want to get to know them better.

Help me ask a personal question without trying to make anything happen. Empower me to be able to go around to all my casual friendships testing to see what You have prepared them for. Help me start asking simple questions like, “How’s it going;” “What’s been happening in your life;” “What have you been up to;” and, “How are you doing?” Even though these are simple questions that most people ask, help me see the difference between me and most people; I REALLY want to know. Help me care what is going on in their lives.

Jesus, help me go from time to time to visit a casual friend in the natural flow of my daily activities. While talking about casual friendship things, show me when to ask them another NON-THREATENING, PERSONAL question. Let my motive be to simply find out whether or not You have prepared their heart for the next level of friendship. All during this time, help me always be praying for them. Help me be asking You to speak to them and prepare their heart. But, help me always stay aware of the fact that it ALL depends on whether or not they are willing to listen to You.

Jesus, if they once again, avoid my personal questions, change the subject, give me a vague answer, or seem to be offended by it, help me go back to my regular, casual subjects and move on. Teach me how to keep repeating this process every time I get together with them. Help me understand that I will never know if or when a casual friendship will move forward. Empower me to keep praying for them and realize that You are working in their life and helping them want more from You. If they are willing, they will respond to You and will be open the next time I ask them a question about how things are going.

Jesus, help me be watching for a change in the attitudes of my casual friends. Make it clear to me that typically, during a casual friendship that is about to move into a personal friendship, they will mention something that is bothering them. Help me, at that point, start listening with concern while allowing them to share as much as they feel comfortable with. When they pause or stop sharing the issue with me, let me ask them clarification and information gathering questions about it. Teach me that this lets me know how much they are willing to share. Help me be ready to back off, if I need to, and let them know I am praying for those things they shared.

Teach me that a personal friendship is a casual friendship where the person is finally ready to move into a deeper relationship. Show me that this is BECAUSE the person is starting to desire to open up and share SOME of the problems they are going through. But, help me always keep in mind that typically they are not yet ready to receive any advice or help. Help me see that they ARE ready to allow me to know some of their personal issues. Teach me that most of these friends just want understanding, concern, and an appreciation for how difficult their life is.

Jesus, make it clear to me that if I push this friendship too soon and start trying to share some of my story or start giving advice, I may close them back up again and lose their trust. But, as I keep showing a sincere interest and offer heart-felt understanding, sympathy, concern, and compassion, they may start asking for my advice and help. Let that be my signal that they are ready to move on to the next level. Help me be gentle, sensitive, caring, and free from personal agendas; let that help me help them.